My Lethally Enforced Gaming Torment

Hello everyone. It’s me Brad, you know the Israeli looking one. Everyone here at UCHG HQ has turned their backs for a second and I’ve jumped on the old pc to share a little story with you. A story of mind-blowing ecstasy and heartbreaking torment.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I will begin… It all started on the day we have come to know as Christmas. Now it’s no secret that I love a good weapon based game.

One of my all time favourites is the Lethal Enforcers series by Konami. Imagine my little face when I opened a present from Fenner Clause to not just find a copy of Lethal Enforcers but a copy of Lethal Enforcers 2 Gunfighters, and, wait for it. The God Damn Konami Justifier light gun!

The blood ran straight to my head as I almost passed out with excitement. There before me was two of my favourite light gun games and a true classic of a light gun. It was almost the best present I have ever received.

Once the blood had returned to the right head I wiped the drool away and took a closer look and this seemingly biblical gift. What machine do I need to rig up to play it? The Sega CD. The Sega CD?

I don’t own a Sega CD!

Just to put this into perspective. Imagine walking into your room after work and finding Elisha Cuthbert, naked, beckoning you over. You casually wonder over to her as you undress, sensuously tripping over your pants. As you climb into bed next to this beautiful woman, you roll over to face her and are greeted by Ross Kemp (double hard bastard could have been in the SAS if he wanted to but said no). Devastating is an understatement. Fen, as kind as he is, has bought me a game i’d love to play for a console I don’t own.

I’ve searched and searched on eBay but to no avail. All I can do is sit holding the Justifier and imagine shooting Fen in the balls with it.

So until I can get my dirty little paws on the elusive Sega CD I’m just going to crawl back into bed with Ross Kemp.