Beat ‘Em & Eat ‘Em

Thats right folks it’s time to revisit the good old, and often overlooked, pornographic game genre.

We have already had a look at Cock In for the C64, and this week it’s the turn of the ATARI 2600 and Beat ‘Em & Eat ‘Em!

Beat ‘Em & Eat ‘Em was released by Mystique in 1983 and has a very simple premise. He beats it. You eat it!

The game play is based on the classic Kaboom! You must take control of a pair of naked ladies and eat the delightful treats being dispensed from a well endowed young man sat atop a building. Allow any of the tasty Hand Shandy to hit the floor and you lose a life. However! every piece of hand packed ice cream you consume earns you points and every 69 points gets you an extra life! The cycle of Beating and Eating gets faster as the game progresses untill you either cant take anymore or you lose all your lives. What fun it is!

It really is hard (no pun intended) to imagine a game like this actually exists! and the blurb on the back is just priceless!

Apply yourself to matters at hand and stay one jump ahead! it’s a game about eating wank! not a bloody advice guide for job success! Or is it….?