Team UCHG is made up of certain gaming specialists. Ross deals with the RPG genre, Fen takes down the FPS scene, Brad is obsessed with the HitMan series and Steve deals with Doom on all platforms!

The strange thing is Steve knows Doom extremely well… a bit too well you might say. His knowledge of the game is so vast he can tell you where the bad guys will be with all most pixel perfect accuracy. If you engage him in a conversation about Doom he will sometimes drift off mid sentence and stare blankly through you. Other times he will just turn and walk away, shaking his head and muttering something like “you wouldn’t know man.. you weren’t there”.

This concerned us here at the UCHG so we dispatched Ross to go deep undercover and find out more.

This is what he found…

It would seem that Steve didn’t just “play” a lot of Doom. He lived it. Bravely fighting his way off Mars, through hordes of evil demons and out from the depths of hell!

And we thought he had just gone away for the week…

After a long wait, we make a return this week to the Big Talk – complete with high-definition big budget intro.

We realised we haven’t really mentioned racing games before – so this time, we take a look back at the Need for Speed series: starting at where we really got into the games, with the spectacular Chav-em-Up that is

Need for Speed Underground

Stay tuned for the parts to come!

Alright mush! I’ve robbed some fockin NOS so I can rex faster! Mint!

Gauntlet for the Sega Master System is a port of the 1985 arcade classic. Developed by the mighty Atari it was one of the first dungeon crawlers and a huge hit in the arcades with its four player setup, addictive game play and a reputation for drinking money in similar quantities to Ian Masons gin intake!

The game is played from a top down perspective as you guide your chosen character through the dungeons of evil. On your quest you will encounter ghosts, demons, sorcerers and thieves as well as food and magic. That’s right food and magic! the twist is that as soon as the game begins your life starts to deplete. This make for a desperate race to the finish and some intense gaming madness. It also causes many arguments over who should eat the food and who should be sucked off by the drainy ghost?

In summary the point of the game is very simple…

There is no point! You must either die or allow your life to run down to end the game!

It really does go on forever and ever! The NES version had the decency to end after 100 rounds but the Master System version is a true epic of a game!

It has 512 rounds!

That’s right! 512 rounds of demon bashing goodness. To put that into perspective Thunder Blade and R-Type (both arcade ports) have a mere 12 and 8 rounds!

Now that is truly mega! I doubt there are many who have actually got to the end. Will a Master System even stay on for that long?

Sounds like a challenge…

Remember the Wimbledon final? It went on for hours as they battled it out – with Federer eventually taking the title.

New balls please!

But that’s not how we at the UCHG remember it.

Oh no.

Watch and find out who really emerged victorious – will it be Fendick, or Braderer? Will it come down to who has had their Robinsons? Who needs a new style of tennis?

And remember – don’t say fuck or cunt at Wimbledon!

Fen has been away, this time to the small French town of Samois sur Seine. While not half as exciting as Brad’s adventures with Somalian pirates, the search for games never ceased.

One thing we wanted to know – what do French gypsies play, with their fake Nike shoes, gold chains and over-sized rings?

Why of course, it can only be

GYPO HERO

Look at him go! Get that Gypo bar to the max!

We tried to buy a copy for the UCHG; however on non-gypo systems it runs far too quickly, steals all your savegames, and tries to sell you a caravan.