Mario Beats Me. And I Like It!

I have been loving the retro handheld games of late. The pick up and play style fits perfectly into my current schedule and provides that much needed moment of relaxation and escape. This handheld revival has seen me opt for a game of Out Run on the Game Gear over my F1 2012 campaign and PAC-MAN on Android over BF3!

As well as reigniting my love for this outstanding and varied section of gaming history it has also brought to light my inability to play a certain game

Super Mario Land

Now I am fully aware that there are plenty of gamers out there that can breeze through this game like Stevie Wonder – I am not one of them. Super Mario Land hates me! The game itself is not a complicated affair and is highly regarded by many in the handheld world as a good game. Released in 1989, as the successor to Super Mario Bros on the NES, Super Mario Land features our little Italian friend bounding his way across 4 worlds each consisting of 3 stages. Or in my hands, features our little Italian friend jumping off platforms, falling down holes, being crushed by falling bricks and not making it past stage 2 of world 2! That’s right! I have made it no further than stage 2 of world 2 – I suck. I suck harder than the cast of The Only Way is Essex on an Ice Lolly tasting day.  The strange thing is that although I suck at this game I just can’t stop. Every time I leap senselessly into the void, run straight into a goomba or die trying to get that dam invincibility star – I just swear really loudly and carry on. I must have played the first world 100 times in the last week alone! and still I go back for more. It seems that Super Mario Land has made me its bitch.

Here is a part of the game I have seen a lot!

The big question is – What keeps me coming back? Is it the gripping story line? The stunning visuals? The constant taunting and humiliation at the hands of my friends and fellow gamers? The story is pretty standard for a Mario game. You are making your way through Sarasaland in pursuit of the evil alien Tatanga who has kidnapped Princess Daisy. The graphics are classic Game Boy and, to be honest, are a big part of the games draw. But the real reason, the craving like the sweet kiss of  heroin constantly calling me back – The challenge! Super Mario Land is an incredibly addictive challenge and that’s what makes it so much fun. Every time I make it further than the last attempt all I want to do is go again.  Much like a 16 year old boy locked in a room with a drunk Cheryl Cole – I have to hit that! (in a sexual way. Not a Chris Brown kind of way)

If you are looking for an addictive gaming experience but don’t have the time to get stuck into Bioshock or Tomb Raider. Give Super Mario Land a go. It also helps if you suck at it.

NB – As I type this my girlfriend has just walked in and announced that she just finished Super Mario Land…. with 8 lives to spare! God Damn I suck!