Zombie! Kill It With Fire!

There has been many a conversation at the UCHG regarding the Zombie apocalypse and how we would handle such an event. Who would rescue who and in what order? How many weapons and what type of ammo would be used?  Where would be the best place to secure and survive? All these questions and many more were destined only to be answered in the realms of fantasy. Until now…

On the 27th of September 2013 Brad and Ross where deployed to an abandoned shopping center in the middle of Reading. Their mission was simple – Survive the Zombie apocalypse! 

This particular Zombie apocalypse had been laid on by the good people of Zed Events. They had trucked in a load of the undead to be set free within the shopping center. All Brad and Ross had to do was clear the area and not get bit – simple! Upon arrival our intrepid Zombie killers where rushed into a dimly lit corridor by a nervous and somewhat attractive police lady. Here they were made to sit in single file and fill out the infection forms with the other survivors. The tension started to build as messages came in over the police radio. “Multiple attacks on civilians in the city center” “No word from other units!” “THE DEAD ARE RISING!“

Tension quickly turned to panic as the external Zombies mentioned over the radio made an attempt at becoming internal Zombies hell bent on eating some UCHG brains! Just as things started to look really bad a police SWAT team arrived on the scene, signalling the beginning of a 4 hour long nightmare that would provide the answers to those Zombie based questions above.

After some brief introductions, and a not so hopeful explanation of the situation, The SWAT team handed out the boom sticks and flashlights – a small sense of safety was restored. This feeling was to last about as long as a Britney Spears marriage as it was explained, that at present, there was no boom to go in the sticks! Now feeling about as safe as a child guest at Michael Jackson’s house, the group of survivors had to make their way to where the boom was at. Armed with nothing more then a sense of self preservation and thoughts of who would be sacrificed should the Zombies show up, they set off into the dark unknown.

Once fully armed up things went from bad to worse. Every dark room became its own personal hell as SWAT officers picked pairs to sweep and clear them. Calling on their Counter Strike skills and tweaking out on adrenalin the men of the UCHG kept their guns up and checked their corners. As the time passed the group numbers started to decline. Fear froze trigger fingers resulting in terrified survivors being dragged off into the dark. Gun shots and screams filled the darkness, flashlights became a gift and a curse and ammo more valuable than gold! Chased from the darkness and into the light of the shopping centre concourse the fight intensified. Zombies and Dead Space style scares were round ever corner. The pressures of surviving had started to take a toll on the UCHG. Ross had attempted to buy the group some time by sealing the fate of a fellow survivor. Knocking his shoe off whilst running up some stairs, Ross gave the survivor little hope of escaping the perusing horde. During his time in the mall Brad had formed a strange relationship with his shotgun naming it “Gate-less Dave” due to its absence of a loading gate. Brad and Dave became inseparable with Brad refusing to ever put Dave down – The cracks where beginning to show.

As the night moved on the group split in two in hope of securing a means of escape. With ammo running low, fear taking over and fatigue setting in the plan quickly started to fall apart and fail. As escape started to look further and further away a huge firefight kicked off. The Zombies kept coming and the death count kept rising. Holding up in the Mall’s plant room the rare sense of safety was once again torn from the group as they realized something was missing. The SWAT team! “Where is the fucking SWAT team!?” The answer was simple – Dead.

With out the guidance of the SWAT team Brad, Ross and Gate-Less Dave decided to break free from the group and go it alone. Calling on the years of FPS experience and countless Zombie films they opted to search the Mall for ammo and supplies. Going against everything they had ever learned they set off into the basement! The basement had now become home to a new horror – Bobo the Zombie Clown! There was nothing funny about Bobo so he was quickly shot up and the UCHG moved on deciding the basement was not a good place to be. Out of the basement they found themselves in a children’s jungle gym complete with ball pit. Ross could not resist and jumped in to search for supplies. At about the same time the Zombies showed up! Using his flashlight as an aiming assist Brad started to blast away at the undead whilst screaming at Ross to “Get out of the ball pit!” As Ross struggled to haul ass out of the pit the Zombies kept coming. Avoiding death by mere inches, Ross launched himself from the ball pit, grabbed his weapon and the pair ran back into the darkness.

Now considering everything to be either hostile or Zombie bait Ross showed a rare flash of human kindness out on the concourse. After coming across a small pocket of survivors in a derelict shop the UCHG agreed to team up to facilitate an effective exit from the shop. The plan was simple, let the Zombies chase the randoms whilst the UCHG got away. This tactic was known as the Francis from Left 4 Dead. As the group exited the shop with a female survivor on point (yes they are that mean) a Zombie lunged out from the corner. The survivor became paralysed with fear and was doing a great job of distracting the Zombies. It was at this point that Ross, going at full tilt for the door, raised his weapon and dropped the Zombie without breaking stride. The survivor who was mere centimeters away from death was spared and the UCHG were away.

It was not long until the SWAT team were back from the dead and presenting a new challenge in the form of armored Zombies! These fuckers blocked corridors and stairways whilst absorbing ammo like a fat kid absorbs cake. The best thing to do when confronted with one of these was to simply run the other way and hope it eats someone else. It was whilst fighting one of the armored Zombies that Brad was almost lost. With his attention focused on the SWAT Zombie he was flanked and jumped. Hearing the attack at the last moment Brad turned and faced the threat. Having just enough time to raise Dave and shoot the Zombie fell twitching at his feet. The gun shots and commotion had alerted the other Zombies. Soon the UCHG and the their fellow survivors found themselves backed into a corner with the horde bearing down on them. The guns kept firing and the Zombies kept coming. All looked to be lost and the end had finally come when an explosion rang out in the dark. The explosion was followed up by soldiers and it was over! The UCHG had survived!