Fat Abbot's Posts

Thank you for your application to the Clutch Ministry. In your practical exam you must demonstrate an ability to get “full Savage”, and to deal with high-pressure situations such as the “double Sunak”. You may draw upon the blessing of Tom Cruise to help you, though calculators are not permitted. The Ministry will not be… Read More »

Pomegranates… the most feared weapon of all – because no one knows who it’s gonna kill… Welcome to June 2021 highlights from the Assurgency server, with crazy clutches, flashbangs, and the sick snipes and teamkills you’d come to expect. Rishi… rishiii… RISSHHIIIIIII

Welcome to the party, Survival Mode! We hereby dub thee 100% clutch mode. Also expect teamkills, fire, and rockets aplenty – and feats worthy of the Clutch Ministry.

“As soon as you find out where Steve is, your punishment is death”. Welcome to the kill farm! Home of classic pistol clutches, snap elections, door bashes, and death by pomegranate. How many suicide bombers??

“Who kicks down a door??” Grab your nifty backpack and join the school trip back to Insurgency: Sandstorm, also marking the one-year anniversary/assiversary of lockdown gaming. Lots of no-scope Dragunov, spooky outfits, sick snipes into the heads of our own team – and THE POMEGRANATE CAME IN THE HOUSE. You know its a good game… Read More »