Filmed myself Beat-ing it

Back to the 1001!

And after about 2 years since actually buying this incredible (well, just incredibly weird) DS game, I’ve given it a go.

1001 No.94: Elite Beat Agents (2006)

Basically, people who are in trouble for whatever bizarre reason (including Leonardo da Vinci trying to please the woman from the Mona Lisa, go figure) call the Elite Beat Agents. They proceed to show up and Beat It, like really hard and fast. Seems to solve all life’s problems.

It’s a rhythm-based music game of course, not a jacking-off simulator. But I filmed myself doing it anyway. The video is of course awful, because of trying to film a DS while tapping it like a mad bastard, but it’s there for the archive. And because you wouldn’t believe the content if I just told you.

It features two women trapped on a deserted island, who for some reason are so hot they can attract planes and all kinds of animals to do their bidding. It makes less sense than Nigel Farage’s next job as a judge on Poland’s Got Talent.

This below is a much better representation of how the game should be played, by someone much better. It’s the last boss level, which was one of the most frustrating experiences in gaming that I’ve EVER HAD.

So remember – if you’re having problems in your life, shout loud enough and three people in suits will show up and start beating it right in front of you. SORTED.